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Thoughts on the #grief of other people:
It can be hard to watch from the outside, trying to #understand or #process the grief of someone close to us. Knowing what to say or do to #help them, or at least not make things worse, is tough because not everyone grieves in the same way.
In the last ten years, I’ve experienced quite a bit of grief, both first and second hand, and it hasn’t made understanding grief any easier. In fact, it has made me realise that grief is incredibly #diverse, as diverse as the people experiencing it, and they all need or want different things.
And it doesn’t matter whether their grief is over the #death of a person or an animal, the #breakdown or a #relationship, the loss of a #job or a physical object like a #home or #SentimentalItem. Every episode of grief needs to be #acknowledged and #supported.
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Some people will need #PhysicalAffection, to be #heard in their grief, #PracticalHelp or to be left alone. How do you know which to give? You ask. Which leads to knowing what sort of support you are able to give.
I am much better at practical help. I will pick up the flowers for the funeral, bring dinner, look after your kids. I am not good with the emotional help but sometimes we have to sit in our own #discomfort.
Holding someone while they cry can be extremely difficult. Listening to someone without inserting your own experiences isn’t easy.
And it can be hard to help someone else with their grief if we are also experiencing our own grief. This can often be the case with #families when a loved one dies. It’s ok to look after yourself before you look after someone else but mutual support is the best kind of support.
In the end, grief is very personal and we often don’t want to intrude on someone else’s grief because of our own experience, but offer anyway.